Open and Honest Chap 2

Chatper Two

Shooting in our Williamsport Park

From Williamsport Sun-Gazette One man is dead and a teenager wounded after gunfire erupted at a city basketball court at a playground Monday afternoon, city police said.

The man was shot in the chest shortly before 4 p.m. at A. Roy Flanigan Park at the corner of Walnut Street and Little League Boulevard. Police have declined to release the dead man�s name, age, identity or how many times he was shot.

The article says it very well:
"It was one of the best days to be outside this year. But Boone expressed outrage that the sterling afternoon was shattered"

What the hell is going on in Williamsport!  I can point my fingers at a few things:

#1 - Where's the parents?  These children are not being supervised on the way to and from the school bus stop...these kids are bullying other children, being bullied, punched, shoved, and chasing each other out into the traffic!  If you (parents) cannot get your asses out of bed, or if you are already off to work...why not have the babysitter or another neighbor walk with these kids?  Don't you want to know what's going on with your kids?

#2 - Where's the parents?  I've walked down my street past a few certain homes (always the same homes)...kids of all ages out there talking "smuck", no supervision, trash strewn all over the place!  These kids are rude and disrespectful to the passersby, making comments about their appearance or clothes, and there is always an argument going on between some of them.  And it's not just the kids...just yesterday, a beautiful day...I say "Hello" to a man sitting on his porch, only to have some woman yell at me from somewhere across the street "Don't talk to him! He's a married man!"

#3 - What's wrong with your own backyards?  Why don't you have your kids safely in their own backyard behind a fence?

#4 - Where's the landlords?  Why don't you do something about your tenants and their guests?  Puts me in the mind to contact the County Assessment Office and find out who you are so I can write you a nice letter and tell you what's going on!  Maybe you'd like to see pics of the front of your properties?

#5 - Parents are very disrespectful themselves!  I've gotten to the point where I won't even confront these parents about their bad ass little brats for fear of getting BEAT UP by the parents!  I've had small children threaten to get their parents on me because I've had to blow my car horn and warn them to get their bikes out of the street from in front of my car!  I've had another girl DARE me to make her get out of my yard because she was too big to play on my daughter's swing, and when I asked her nicely not to sit on the swing, she got very vulgar..so of course, I told her to leave, she wouldn't leave and said she would go get her older siblings after me!  What are you parents teaching these kids?  If a parent comes to you about your child, don't stand there cussing out the parent!  It only shows the kids that's how to handle the situation...TALK to your kids and let them know what's right and wrong!

Birthday Party!

(my silly Bro)
My SIL celebrated her birthday yesterday with a stuffed shell dinner...was really good, stuffed shells, seafood salad, garden salad, garlic bread...couldn't get enuf...twas delicious! It was a nice time, friends and family...and Kayley got lots of play time in with her cousin, Kimmy!


K and I went out then afterwards, shot some pool and looked for a dance club to go to that we wouldn't have to pay a large cover charge to enter, since we didn't plan on being out that long. It was a real long day, with my bro calling me and waking me up at 530am...way too early for me on a Saturday morning. Never did decide on a dance club, just ended up coming home and going to bed, felt so good to just lay down, was just one of those days! But it was a good day, nonetheless!

We saw Leslie's brother out lastnight, he didn't have anymore information regarding her disappearance in Georgia, just breaks my heart to think that she is out there somewhere, and that ONE person (Billy Cook) KNOWS and won't tell where she is! If anything, just to give her back to her family! He made a real big mistake, why not just admit to it and deal with the consequences...he can't REALLY think that he's going to get away with this for the rest of eternity!?

Anyone ever use the Yahoo 360 page? My GF sent me a link to it, and I was exploring it to see how it would set up, if I could cut down on some the MANY pages I move around to, but just seems like it would just add to the HUGE list I already have!

Birthdays, Anniversaries, and Prayers!

Listening to: Game Over (Flip) - Lil' Flip

Pictures, Pictures, Pictures

(me and my babies; Kayley in 2001 and Dakota in 1989)

Spent today scanning old pics! I keep forgetting that I have a scanner and I can actually scan all those fav memories and put them on my PC, save them to disk, or whatever! I scanned the very favs and put them in my Photobucket under four new albums

1) Family 2 , an album of my bros, sisters, nieces, nephews and some extended
2) Kays Firsts and Family , my DD Kayley’s Firsts and her father’s family
3) Moments, an album of my special moments
4) Old School , an album of pics of good times and friends dating back to circa 1989 (check out some of those hairstyles!)

While scanning the pics, I became very upset when looking at the pics of DH, very emotional…I mentioned to the Gabbies that I missed the man I married…I was set straight on that, thank you Jenna…no…I’m not missing HIM…

“You're not actually missing the man, Carrie, as much as you're
missing the
ideals you had hoped for. He crushed your dreams, and
that's what you're
missing. Not him”

I guess I’m just photo crazy! I have duplicates all over the house AND in book albums, now on the PC and in cyber space! Well, I suppose I’ll always be able to get at them, no matter what, as long as I never lose my password!

It’s been a real rough two days for my son…he and I had a disagreement lastnight, then apparently he had a disagreement with his Cous today…well, my nephew seemed to be the instigator of that one. They should all learn to just blow some things off, but these teenagers take everything so seriously and THINK they need to take action on it. So I suppose I’m going to have to have a sit down with my son tonite when he gets home!

Question: If you were to be deprived of something for a short period of time, what would you miss the most?

New Daily Item
Birthdays, Anniversaries, and Prayers!

Listening to: Bad Boy This Bad Boy That - Bad Boys Da Band

Mail Art and a New Blogger!

Oh yeah! My MailArt was posted on Confess Your Sins it was posted on 3.21.2006, you can see it directly here critfish Again, I’m very concerned about Domestic Violence, since it has touched my life to such a devastating extent, I’ve created my own webpage memorial called “For a Cause”, please click on the link to the right and forward it on to the whole wide world! Education is so important to break the cycle!


I also received my Red 4x4 Swaps from Violette's Challenge of 2.20.2006 , top by Judie in Florida, bottom by Jean in Texas! They are both awesome, love them!

While I’m here linking to other websites, there is another that I’d like to mention! The greatest Fantasy Author of all time (in my personal opinion), JK Francis, has been working a lot on her new webpage in an attempt to increase her marketing, so check it out…leave her some feed back about her webpage…she loves feedback even more than I do! Also she’s new to blogging, she’s a pretty interactive “chick”, check her out JK Francis Blog I really like her “intro” to herself from her blog

“I am a writer of Young Adult fantasy adventure, children's picture books, and adult dark fantasy romance and sweet fantasy romance. As you can tell, fantasy enters into everything I create.
I am published with a small press in Australia. And, no, I don't live there, although I've had a fascination with Oz since I was in middle school (we called it junior high in those days).
I currently have 9 books out - 4 YA action adventure, 2 sweet fantasy romances, and 3 picture books. They are doing better than I could have dreamed of at Fictionwise.com
Please, feel free to drop by my homepage at: http://www.jennakayfrancis.com and read the first chapters of the novels. I would appreciate the visits!
I hope to be able to post more exciting information here very soon. I am planning on attending a conference in Bellevue, WA in June, and will be doing a book signing and sales at the Ren Faire in Gig Harbor in August.
Til then - keep writing and be creative!
Jenna”

Play tag: leave the link to your blog in my comments, and go visit the person ahead of you.

Listening to: Welcome to the Machine - Pink Floyd

Quick Sketch from my Visual Journal

Scrapbooks and Sorrow

Okay, apparently Blogger doesn't want to upload pics tonite! So I'm trying this thru my Photobucket hopefully it will work. I worked on a scrapbook page for my DDs school book. Yeah...I'm not the Scrapbook queen, but this is a very special one, because these are all the "good going" wishes from her Fairy Godmothers! I know she will cherish it, they love her almost as much as I do!

I have so much work to do on her School Scrapbook, I've saved things, just haven't put them in the book...I'm so bad with the second child. With my son, I had everything saved in and filled up two books! Think I can do it with my second and very last? Heck no!

I posted something earlier in my "Group" and one Gabby said that I should put it on my BLOG, it may not be understood by all (as well as the Gabs do) but here goes, just some feelings I had today:

Day of Sorrow Mixed with Joy!

Sorrow: The cats are gone...on their way to a farm...I'll miss them
so much, and it was so hard to say goodbye, and I will never own
another animal again, for fear of loving them so much
Joy: that they went together and will hopefully keep close together
and have each other for comfort

Sorrow: My bro wants to be ** ****** instead
Joy: But he acts no different in person, still the same bro, talking
about the same things that I've always enjoyed about him

Sorrow: Saw the ambulance take the older woman across the street
away a couple weeks ago, people were in and out of her house since,
and I feared the worst
Joy: Saw her home yesterday, leaving the house with the assistance
of her daughter and a walker

Sorrow: That I'm lonely
Joy: That I'm alive

Listening to: Renegade - Styx

Good Morning

Just had to share this with you...what a wonderful thing to wake up to!
The pics take a minute to load, but very well worth it, so be patient...okay?
Theophany Journal

Day of Pictures and Paper!

I'm so completely tired, but I just had to get on here and show what I've gotten myself into today! Oh good lord, a new project.... Iris Folding! I was just minding my own business, reading the posts in my Gabby Group and BRENDA just had to throw out a link to this, so OF COURSE...I just had to look, then I HAD to try it! This heart, two ducks and two bunnies later...I'm exhausted! Anybody know of any glues that don't make paper and cardstock all "humpy"? I'm having problems!


I'm just filled with pictures today...it was a real picture taking day! L to R Dakota, Kyle's GF??? (she says they are NOT going out), Kayley (the small one), and Kyle.

Well, here's another pic...
I keep seeing this house and been wanting to snap a pic of it for Deanne, she loves Painted Lady houses and since I live so near the heart of the Historic District... I couldn't resist taking these pics as well...

(this house use to be painted the G awfullest (is that a word?) ugly slate blue/gray color and was overgrown in the front with terrible towering evergreens..TG someone in their right mind bought it and renovated it back to it's glorious grandeur!)

(this house, well, it's actually an old Hotel, then was turned into apartments, now is under renovation. I took the pic from the side to show the enormous size of this place, it's not much to look at from the front yet anyhow..they still have a lot of aesthetic work to do!)

And I finally got up the nerve to walk into someone's yard and take a lovely Spring picture (Okay...I didn't walk in their yard, I used the zoom from the sidewalk!)


And why does my son, Dakota, insist on using my new cam to take these terrible pics of himself?

Well, if he insists, then I will just have to post them for the entire Cyber World to see! Oh...be sure to click on the pics to open them up and see full view!

Question: Where is the strangest place you ever fell asleep?

Listening to: Gold Digger - Kanye West

Identity Crisis
Okay, I'm looking at my blog and website, thinking about comments that I've left with other bloggers...and I'm thinking...this is all a bit confusing...I seem to go by several different names..NO...Bitch is no longer one of them...what does Kyra Sedgwick say on "The Closer"..."if I wanted to be called "Bitch" to my face, I'd still be married!"...Anywho...I have Thorn, ***** and Carrie all listed...hmmm? Think I'll just go with *****..that sums it all up very nicely.

Addendum: Then again...no I won't better just stick with Thorn, for privacy reasons!
Addendum #2: Blog is no longer moving...sorry to any of those that changed their bookmarks, it was just way too many steps and confusing!

Pool Shark...
I am not! But I sure did try hard, gotta little game still! (giggling) Okay...I have no game, but it was fun anyhow! K and I went down the street and shot some BS and some games, one guy whipped my butt and everyone elses, SHEESH...he was like a Phantom...just blew right thru the game in a matter of seconds, knocking all the balls in...think I got an opening shot! If I had been a mouse, I would have ran and hid my shame in a small hole in the wall!
I went to the bathroom saw my reflection in the mirror and realized that I still had my hair all pulled on top of my head, so that came down quickly...then went back out to take my seat, there had been this girl/woman sitting at the corner of the bar eyeing up K the whole time, and this girl/woman must have thought that I took my hair down as a sign of "competition"??? She made a few comments about it and said something like "You really are a beautiful Old lady"...what? what? Old? Asked her how "OLD" she was, turns out she's only 3 years younger than me, so I said "Guess I've been thru a whole hell of a lot more in my time than you have" even though she herself was looking rather "ghetto" and like a Strawberry, but who am I to judge! Okay..well she did it first!

Dakota
had a great time in DC, brought me back the t-shirt (pic above) I asked him for, told me how well he did bargain hunting for it and got it for $4 in a small shop rather than $11 that someone else was asking for the same shirt! Glad he had such a good time with his friends, it'll be an experience that he will never forget!

My blog will be moving to a new location Thorn_Goblin_Glitter My Blog , please save the new bookmark to your favorites! Thank you!

Day of Milestones!

Milestones
Well this has been a great day of accomplishment, first and foremost...my Kayley taught herself to ride her bike! She started out yesterday, riding it down the sloped sidewalk in the back yard, yet she was still a bit scared to take her feet off the ground. Today she was bound and determined and sure enuf, she mastered the art! With very little guidance from me, I just encouraged from the sidelines and then broke out in cheers of joy (probably heard 'round the whole neighborhood), as she lifted them feet to the peddles and OFF she went! She was still having a bit of a problem at the end of the sidewalk, where it's a bit bumpy leading into the driveway, so I told her to take it on out into the alley...and that was all there was...YEAH! FOR MY POOPIE!!!

For A Cause!
I've been working on my homepage since very early this morning, and I created a page that is very dear to my heart For A Cause! ...I think I may have found a way to express something and maybe reach out to someone that needs it, I've created a page dedicated to Domestic Abuse, I'm hoping that everyone here will view it and pass it along to the bloggers and addies on their lists.
PLEASE FORWARD TO ALL THOSE ON YOUR LISTS! SPREAD THE MESSAGE THAT ABUSE HURTS AT ANY AGE!!!!


(my twist on Negative Spaces by critfish 3.18.2006)
Negative Spaces
Also, while adding the page discussed above, I completely revamped my entire Webpage , I did quite a bit of work adding and changing things. One page inparticular, is the Tips page, which is still under some minor construction; however, all thanks to Judie, I've added the first tip regarding Negative Spaces, go check it out Thorn_Goblin_Glitter Tips and Hints. While there, take a tour of the entire site, some of the new items are the full Gallery, the message board and message archives, and a direct link to my blog, Thorn_Goblin_Glitter Post a message and let me know what you think, I love feedback!

Just Too Much!

It all caught up to me today! I was mentally and physically exhausted! This week was so hectic, with all the running here and there, lots of things on my mind that I just don't really know what to do with. Had my daughter to the docs twice...she's fine...ring worm, nothing life threatening, but it just irks me that it could have been treated sooner if the doc was more experienced...young interns! They first "guess diagnosed" it as eczema, but wanted to refer her to a Derm, which couldn't see her for another month!!!! Then the school nurse finally contacted me, telling me that she just saw her and thought it was ring worm, was I having her treated (NO! Duh...I just let my DD run around with a lesion on her face cuz I could careless!) and informed me that there had been another child in my daughter's class with ring worm, so then I got paranoid! I mean, come on...it's contagious! Well, now after a month, other kids are teasing her...what about the OTHER kid that had it? Well, apparently that child had been misdiagnosed for a couple of months!!!! I made my feelings known to the teacher and the school nurse...the nurse said something to me though that made me think a bit...yeah, I'm running around to doc appts, and school events and such...this might be a bit irritating, but I can be happy that it's just this, and I'm not dealing with a teenager on drugs or worse! That these children grow so fast, and we will soon find ourselves wishing we were just dealing with something that can be simply treated! Okay...so thanks for the reality check...I tend to stress over small stuff sometimes too much, not that this is TOTALLY SMALL!

I find my relaxation in visiting lots of other blogs, and seeing all the creativity! Oh, it's just such an experience, gives me so much inspiration! I began to list a lot more of my fav blogs to the right...so shout outs to all of you! You all do such wonderful work and thanks for sharing with the world! You all really put me at ease more than you know! And I enjoy just hearing how the rest of the world is getting by out there, thanks for sharing your vacations and favorite spots and things!

I really haven't had time to create this week, I did do a quick sketch on the back of a pharmacy receipt with my blue Bic ballpoint pen while waiting on the next bus home today (pic above).

Showed Dakota my "work of art":

Dakota: well, mom, it's not one of your best
Mom: yeah, well, I know that, but can you tell what it's a sketch of?
Dakota: the back of a man, sitting on a bench, he's wearing a hoodie?
Mom: well, then I guess it's good enuf, you just described what I saw with my own eyes!

Dakota is going to DC tomorrow with his school CASA group! He's been really looking forward to it, told him to get me a cheap t-shirt, that's all I asked! I know he'll have a lot of fun, it's a great bunch of kids, and a day far away from home....YIPPEE!! He wanted to take my new diggie cam, REALLY wanted to...had to put my foot down on that one, I went and got him two disp cams...my new cam is a semblance of regaining a little something of what DH took away from me...and I'd hate for anything to happen to it while Dakota was in charge of it for the day!

Listening to: Salt Shaker - Ying Yang Twins

Open and Honest Chap 1

Chapter One

Listening to: Stop Dragging My Heart Around - Stevie Nicks

Listen to your Elders!

(pic of downtown Williamsport, PA infront of courthouse, June 1933) I was sitting and chatting away with an older gentleman yesterday, he will be 76 in April. Our conversation touched on old Theaters that use to be here in Williamsport. He was telling me how back in 1941 or 42, his mother would give him 50 cents to go to the movies for the evening with his friends, and living at home where he did, he'd walk about a mile to the City Bus Stop (the bus went no further than the High Street bridge in those days) and ride it into downtown, the bus ride cost 7 c. He would go to the theatre across from the old jailhouse, cost 12c, afterwards he and his friends would go to "Coney Island" next door for a pepsi and hot dog, cost 15c...with his remaining money they would go to the old Kresgie's 5 and dime and buy bags of penny candy! We talked about the old LL Stearns Department store that use to be downtown (now the new Transit Center where all the City Buses depart from), he worked there in 1956 when he first got married. He worked in the toy department for 85c per hour!

I found it fascinating to hear of the price of things back then, and the experiences he had in my same hometown...I do long for the "Downtown" that use to be when I was growing up! It would be such an experience for our children of today, to be able to walk the downtown area, and not have to go so far out to the only Mall around with the only theatre around, which is over 10 miles away and about a 45 minute bus excursion!

I spent my day yesterday moving rooms and furniture around. I felt safe enough, with the weather SLOWLY changing to open up a third room downstairs...so back went the LR furniture into the LR, and the kitchen table into the Dining Room. Moved my hutch back out to the Kitchen and repositioned my fridge and "coffee cart" for easier access. I also brought my computer down out of my BR and set up my L-shaped workspace infront of the DR windows...such a beautiful morning to look out on to! Now my son can entertain his friends here in the DR instead of bringing them into my BR to use the comp at night when I'm tucked in bed watching L&O feeding my face with chips or such! (yes...he REALLY did that!) After all the lugging and heavy lifting, my son came home and gave me a real hard time about the computer. My son has some "anger issues" that are very inappropriate, fortunately I snuck down to the basement away from him and called his "Big Brother" (which is a very good friend to him); explained to BB that Dakota was really pushing my buttons and could he come retrieve him earlier than planned! He said he'd be right down in 20 seconds, and he was, and he apparently talked some sense into Dakota because I got a very nice apology and a confession that he should not have acted in the manner that he had!

I began my "Daily Walks" again today...the weather was calling for snow, but it is nothing but beautiful blue skies and sunshine, temp 24! I found myself taking pics of "High" objects reaching into the blue sky...take a look...Daily Walk 3.16.06

And NOW...let there be pictures!

I'm back in business with photos! Bought me a much deserved new Kodak Easy Share C300

It takes some very nice pics! Here are the pencils and pens from my shopping trip yesterday :



A got my first little dragonfly today from Family Dollar:


And then I snuck up on my son and grabbed this photo:

He doesn't look too surprised, does he? What a ham! He'll always pose for pics!

Without photos!

Today may be a day without photos! So here is a doodle cartoon "Leo Shooting Pool", kinda reminds me of my Bro. And I so wanted to share my shopping purchases with you from yesterday! My camera phone software is acting up again...I swear, anytime you make a change to this comp, it messes with the communication between the modem connection of my cam phone and the PC. The only changes I made was removing unwanted items from my desktop and moving my sons files into one specific folder (instead of the jumbled mixture of things amongst my files) I tried and tried lastnight to open the software, and it just made my comp lag terrible...so I'll be on the phone with Motorola as soon as they open up, which is 9am Central time. Drives me insane!

My shopping trip yesterday consisted of going to our local downtown Office and art supply store, Plankenhorn Stationery for some "proper" black marking pens for outlining and just doodling. The one Sharpie that I purchased for just that job, although it stated "extra fine" on the packaging, was no where near extra fine...also they bleed thru my journal pages. I also got a nice bundle of watercolor pencils to try out.

As well as the day started out, with beautifully high temps for this time of year, it all came to a screaching halt when the school nurse called and informed me that my daughter cannot return to school without a note from the doc due to this "rash" under her eye, which may be ringworm. According to the school nurse, who is not at her school on a full time basis and therefore has not seen my daughter since, oh maybe Feb 16th when she busted her mouth on the playground (which required a trip to the dentist and a pulled tooth) it is not school policy to notify parents when there is a contagious "thing" going around the classrooms. So, armed with that UN-knowledge, I took my daughter to the family doc who asked if she had been around anyone with ring worm, and I told him "NO", so with what I DID tell him...that she always gets this "funny thing" going on with her eye whenever she has a fever, cold, or other illness...he (the doc) felt that the rash maybe eczema due to internal stress bringing it out and he referred us to a dermatologist, who she would be seeing this Friday...NOW a month later, as I have sent her to school treating it for eczema, thinking I was doing what I should be doing...the school nurse decides that she's gonna call me up and let me in on some very important information! I'm now going to take my daughter back to the doc and get the proper medication...NOW that I have been informed!

With all that to dampen my spirits, I go to retrieve daughter from the school bus and the weather suddenly turns for the worst, the sky opened up, and it poured down raining on us! I can't complain too much about that...it was a warm "summery" kind of shower, and I'm sure all the plants and grass just LOVED it! At home, after the shower, I opened the doors wide to air the winter stench out! Our weather will take a nose dive now into treacherous winds and 30 and 40 degree temps once again...still not time to open the house completely! I'm not even using the Oil Heat, just heating the hot water, and yet I'm going through extremely high fuel consumption...it's just ridiculous...I'll be happy to move out of this large cave!

What Color Green are You?

Well, I don't know about this...I agree with the "bit of a hippie and very into nature and the outdoors (although I don't get camping as much as I'd like to)...however I don't think that I accept the world and people enough as I should, and I DO try to change things and people (one LARGE flaw of mine)..I'm not completely comfortable with myself, theirs a lot of flaws I'd like to work on and change!

You Are Grass Green

Down to earth and a bit of a hippie, you are very into nature and the outdoors. You accept the world and people as they are. You don't try to change things. You are also very comfortable with yourself, flaws and all. Optimistic about the future, you feel like life is always getting better.

What Color Green Are You?

Creative Day!

I was just too creative today...went a little crazy drawing and painting at the table with Kayley for about three hours! My first project was embellishing the front cover of my sketch/visual journal book with my self portrait (I painted the self portrait last month or so)



Next I worked on a mail art postcard, the Mail Call is for "True Confessions" (second one down) on Dreambook , first I did the sketch in my journal to get an idea, then I used my Sharpies on the postcard itself.

Then I decided to try out my dd's watercolors and painted a pic of her...


Finally, deciding that I was real partial to her watercolors and how they flowed..I painted up another one of my earlier sketches...my cat Two Toe..



BE SURE TO DOUBLE CLICK ON THE PICS TO VIEW LARGER!

Cyber Map

Where are you from?
I got the idea that I wanted a very large map on my wall so that I can just turn and look to see where everyone is posting their messages and blogs from! What I've done is push-pinned the locations of where my regularly viewed Bloggers are from, and if available, I've printed out small thumbnail pics of them and attached to the push pins! It just makes a great visual tool, it's always nice to have a face to go along with the image in your mind! I'm excited to fill the map up..so leave a comment with your location and even a pic would be great. The pics are of the map, a full shot and then a close up (to give you and idea of the push pins). Just click on the pics to open them larger! My son looked at the map and asked why there is more people on the East Coast? Well...I can't answer that question...I just don't know the answer, guess I haven't "met" that many West Coasters yet! (giggling)

First Cookout!
We had beautiful Spring weather yesterday, and I just had to have the first cookout of the season, Wish I would have taken pics...but I'm sure we will have lots more opportunities for photo shots as the warm seasons continue! Lets see...who all was here? My nephew, Thane, my son's friend Kyle and a friend of his, Kevin, Keith and his tribe (I've lost count of how many children he has), his GF and her brother and his GF, my best GF and her three lovely children (my neice and nephew)...Jadah, Jordan and Little Eric, and of course, Dakota, Kayley and I! We had hamburgers, sausages, Whitening baked in Lemons and Pepper, Collard Greens, Greens and Beans, Tomato and Cucumber Salad and Mac Salad! I cooked all that in a matter of two hours! Since my cookouts are always "spur of the moment", nothing ever gets done before hand and I'm always running around trying to prepare everything quickly so I can sit down and relax! I ate so much, I thought I would bust and Kevin fell asleep on the couch!

The "New" Me!

I've updated my profile on my blog just a bit...wanted to send out a more "positive" profile to the world! This is a pic of me that I had my son take just lastnight after getting around for a Friday Night out! Usually I'm the one behind the camera taking pics, so the last pic I had posted on my profile was when I was with DH and "sick" with the disaster called "marriage and relationships".

Speaking of relationships, I had an encounter lastnight with a fella and it was just really creepy! I've known him for quite awhile, ran into him months back and got to talking to him. At that time, he was pushing the "issue" of getting into a relationship. I THOUGHT I nicely told him that I wasn't interested in going that route, that I had a lot on my plate. So when I ran into him again lastnight, it was if he was attempting to run these "guilt trips" on me, like I "dissed" him and broke his heart, he continously stuck his nose into other conversations I was having and kept trying to compare himself to the men I was talking to, trying to make me "feel bad" for giving THEM attention over HIM! Needless to say, my first impression was right on the money...he would be one of those types to sit there and sulk like a neglected little boy if I was having a good time with anyone but him! SORRY...not my thing at all!

Magical Creation Box

Another project that I just completed, after staying up until 230 in the morning lastnight...but HEY! It's done and it's fun!...The Magical Creation Box! This idea came from Violette's Folk Art Blog
Here is the idea she posted behind the Magical Creation Box, in case anyone wants to participate: (Copied and pasted from her site above)

Magical Creation Box
In the book Ask and it is Given the author talks about creating a Magical Creation Box. Now i've heard this kind of box called a God Box as well as some other names before. The author recommends you be in a very good and positive state when you go about creating this box.

Embellishing and filling your box
You find a box that is pleasing to you.....the shape does not matter at all. In an obvious place you write (or collage) Whatever is contained in this box - IS!. Since you're all artists out there you are going to want to paint and embellish your box i'll bet although this is not essential. The next thing you do is gather magazines, brochures, catalogues and thumb through them clipping out images, words and phrases that you want to have as part of your experience. As you drop the clippings into your box say "Whatever is in this box - IS!". You can continue to find clippings of things that appeal to you...it could be people having conversations to symbolize friendships or a picture of a man who embodies some of the characteristics you are looking for in a mate. Don't forget to write a description of your ideal day (this one's from me), where you are working, what you are doing, what kind of people are surrounding you, what you are wearing etc. You need to focus your desires in order to manifest what you want in your life. The more you do this the more you'll find you are drawing the people, things and situations to you that you want.

Hope everyone has as much fun as I did! I'm filling it up with "What IS" as we speak! Take a pic of your box and post the link in my comments...I'd love to see them!

My Teenage "Geek"!

After a terrible rotten episode with my son lastnight (I came home to find him yelling very loudly at his little sister, so when I took matters into my own hands with her, he wanted to "explain" himself; which, with him always means trying to get the last word in), with tempers flaring and me at my wits end (well, I've been THERE before), I called a friend in to talk to him hoping to calm him down a bit. That worked, so today before school I decided to still allow him to sign up for the Washington DC trip with his CASA club, I figured there would never be another chance at this same trip with these same classmates...a once in a lifetime event, so I couldn't take that from him, but he had an eye exam after school so he was not allowed to get contacts, as he wanted, and I picked out cheaper frames that were similar to the higher priced ones he wanted to go with. Of course, I had to listen to his ranting and raving about how "They will all think I'm a geek! This is the last time I'm ever going to be cool, get a good look"! UHHHHH! So irritating to have your offspring say these things over and over in a public place, as if his persistent complaining will make me change my mind...do they realize how embarrassing it is when all you want to do is reach out and whack his head but everybody is watching?

Well, after the eye exam, we did have an enjoyable time in Family Dollar shopping! I bought Kayley some waterpaints, paper and glue. Dakota bought items to concoct some type of "experimental project"...I told him he'd have to do it in the backyard just incase it BLOWS UP! And I got some cute little hooded jackets, pants and top...Hey! I'll shop anywhere as long as the clothes are kewl looking and CHEAP (pic above) . I also got myself some glue sticks, then came home and put my "craft kit" together (pics below). We laughed a lot, with Kayley teasing her "Brovie"...ya know, you just can't stay mad at your kids. I told Dakota that as soon as Kayley is out of the house, I'm moving into a Senior's Apartment High Rise that has regulations against overnight guests so that they (the kids) can't come home!

My Michelangelo Project

I visited French Toast Girl lastnight and came across her Michelangelo Project, so I decided that was my perfect "excuse" to get busy revamping my kitchen clock...I've had plans for that thing!

Before:


After:

Glad I got it done!

On to other news, lookie lookie what I bought for myself today:

I just love Robin Eggs and those Hot Tamales...YUMMM!
Had a few errands to run today and some grocery shopping, made an awesome new dish...maybe not new to others, but it consisted of black eyed peas, split beans, kidney beans, mushrooms, stewed tomatoes, and collard greens with chili powder, pepper and onion powder; It was awesome! I'm calling it "Greens and Beans"! The kids ate it up!

Also, talked to GF, she found out even more 4-1-1 on her BF, yet she's determined to stick it out, and I decided that I am DONE DONE DONE talking to her EVER about BF; it just causes me negative energy...think it's time for me to spread my wings and make some more GFs that are more positive to be around. She's one girl that truly does not want to let go and believes that a miracle from G is going to make him change his ways and be with her and only her someday...as far as I'm concerned, every man or woman has skeletons in their closet of some type, and I'm just not worrying myself any longer about her "hurting heart", she's causing her own pain now...way past victim and now the volunteer!

A Challenge!

Just saw this on French Toast Girl ! Hmmmm...very interesting...I'll work on this tomorrow! Hope everyone else will! Be creative and I'd love to see your work as well, so post a link on my comments too!

Changes

I got my DL back after loosing it for one year, I could have had it back in October, but hey...who's driving? Not me! Not with the prices of gas, maintenance, registration, inspection, emissions tests and insurance these days! I need a real good paying job to afford all that, plus keep a roof over my head and raise two kids! Shoot!

Anyhow, I got to looking at all my "forms of ID" over the past oh...I guess 10 years (pic above), and it dawned on me...Holy Crap have I gone through a lot and it really shows! BUT...and this is a really BIG BUT...I wasn't totally disgusted with the latest picture, actually...with everything that I've just recently been through...I must agree with the mass concensus...I look a hell of a lot better than I did just last year when I was with DH! My God...I looked like I was on Crack-Cocaine when I was with him! And, those "highlights" in my hair in the most recent pic...(giggling) they are really grey hairs...shhhhhh...I won't tell if you don't! So, my new DL photo actually made me feel pretty damn good about myself at my young 37 years of age, and it's only gonna get better from here on out, babe!

Now, for the down side of today...I think I upset my GF real bad! Well...and I didn't mean to... she said something that made me think of somethings that someone told me, and I was sure she'd want to know. I DID ask her if she wanted me to tell her first, and she said yes, so I blurted it out! Turns out that her Jailhouse BF is still seeing the "other girl" during the visits that my GF hasn't been able to go to. Not only that, I was told that yet even ANOTHER girl was NOT just a "friend" but MORE than that AND he's been seeing his other baby's mother, which my GF did not think was happening. My GFs mood changed suddenly, she began saying that she didn't know what to think of it all and felt like she needed to consult with another friend of her's (one that she can relate to more than me, because they both have "cheating dogs"), the last time I talked to her today she said, and I quote "My heart just really hurts". I know she's hurting, and all I could really say is that she knows in her heart of heart that all this is true, it's been going on, it's still going on, it's never gonna stop, she needs to just get away from him and heal for good, however long that may take but she needs to be strong and just do it or she's gonna continue to put herself through this over and over again and hurt more each time until the life is just sucked right out of her! Of course, she didn't want to hear any of that, so she didn't talk to me much more than that...I'm sure she called her other friend that could "feel" more for her.

All this just made me think how happy I am that I am no longer in a "relationship" where there are expectations on both sides, because when someone does not live up to expectations, then all there is is disappointment! I KNOW I held expectations on DH, only the same expectations he held on me...be home, don't stay out all night, don't go out without me unless you invite me, keep to your daily routine to avoid any suspicions, don't hang on the phone too long and avoid me, don't have any friends besides me...that's all for the birds, I'm glad to be done with it, but my GF has it 10X worse, her BF is like the "Freedom Nazi" even from behind bars!

More Mail Art

These are the two Mail Art projects that I worked on today for the "Red 4x4 swap" from Violette's Blog It was fun working on them at the kitchen table, Kayley got out her little notebook and started creating too. She drew a real pretty fairy as well!

I didn't do a whole lot of anything this weekend, started on "the dreaded laundry"...didn't get too far! Oh, it's just never ending! And then little Miss Kayley got carried away with the creating and went nuts with the scissors, gave poor Two Toe about four thinning spots to her beautiful fur! Can't believe she even allowed Kayley to get that close to her, let alone with a pair of scissors in hand! That would be something I'd expect from Sylvester, he always lets her put barettes all over his fur and tail, but Two Toe? No...she'll just as quick swat at you with open claws before she would let Kayley mess with her, so I just don't know how she was able to do it? Well, then...I just discovered that she trimmed up Sylvie's whiskers as well! My lord! You really have to watch these kids 24/7! Poor Sylvie...he looks so ridiculous!

Needless to say, I took all the scissors away from Kayley and put them up where she can't use them unless she is being supervised 100%.

I looked around the "two rooms" tonite and just did not want to clean up the evening mess, was going to get Miss Kayley up a little early in the morning and make her do it, but then I said "what the heck" and just moved her few possessions to the side in a pile (she can collect those before school tomorrow) and straightened everything else up real quick. There isn't a whole lot of cleaning that needs to be done in two small rooms anyhow...now my BR, that's a whole other story...things just seem to end up on the floor or thrown over the wooden chest...drives me insane to see clutter! Very negative energy to sleep in or wake up to! I'll be so happy when Spring arrives and it's not so cold, I can open up this great big house and feel "free at last"...even better, I can't wait to MOVE! Keep your fingers crossed that it happens soon, soon, soon!

Let it go for 2006...By T. D. Jakes

This was sent to me from a Gabby, very nice to think about and practice regularly:
There are people who can walk away from you and hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be mademanifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubtthey would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are notjoined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that theirpart in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part inyour story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've gotthe gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and wasnever intended for your life, then you need to ... LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ... LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth ... LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ... LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge .... LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ... LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ... LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude ... LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better ... LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him ... LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship ... LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves ... LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed ... LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handlingyourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you needto ... LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a newthing for 2006!!! LET IT GO!!!
Get Right or Get Left ... think about it, and then .... LET IT GO!!!
"The Battle is the Lord's!"
During the next 60 seconds, Stop whatever you are doing, and take thisopportunity. (Literally it is only ONE minute!)
All you have to do is the following: You simply say "The Lords Prayer" for the person that sent you this message:
The Lords Prayer
Our Father, who are in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name, Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory, forever.Amen.
Next, send this message to everyone you know. In a while, more peoplewill have prayed for you and you would have obtained a lot of peoplepraying for others!
Next, stop and think and appreciate God's power in your life, for doing what you know is pleasing to Him.
If you love God and you are not ashamed of all the great things that He has done for you send this on. God loves you and watches over you everyday

Attempted Homicide

Image thanks to http://www.hiken.org/ianArtHigh1site/pages/a013_Jail.htm

I came face to face with DH lastnight after 4 months, he was with his new GF and a couple other guys. He walked right into the Tavern I live near, which he is barred from. I was sitting there with two friends, got up to go in the bathroom and when I came out there he was walking in, I was this -- close to him. My body took over, I began shaking immediately and said "OH Hell NO! He's not allowed in here, and I have a restraining order against him!" Mona and Bobbie (the two barmaids) made quick to have him leave, but it left me feeling very unsettled. Although, he has not even attempted (as far as I know) to bother me at all, but it was just the audacity of him being there where he knows I go and he knows he's not allowed, and the two of them out for a "night on the town" after there house just went up in flames!

So today I'm left with wondering WHY this still bothers me, why I can't just go on, why I had to show a reaction of any kind! And this is what I came up with...it's a lot like imagining how you would feel if someone attempted to murder you but you escaped with your life...after the shock wears off, you'd want to see him burn in hell or atleast be charged to the fullest extent of the law, but instead they are free to walk the streets and have contact with you! The chance of running into this monster around any corner, at the grocery, at the library...just anywhere...and he is free to go on with his life and live it to the fullest!

This is how I feel, and I just can't shake it! He took so much from me...emotionally, physically, and financially! I was a crumbled mess on the brink of suicide, feeling like I was going out of my mind with the madness that he slathered on to me. And he was able to walk away from all this without so much as a slap on the wrist, free to attempt murdering some other poor soul! But instead he's out there making it as if HE is the victim!

"Couples"

Illustration thanks to http://www.samuelsdesign.com/comics/pages/secrets_love18.htm

Just the other day, I was watching the Morning Show on NBC, it had a couple segments on there that caught my attention. The first being "What Women Want", this segment was intended like a survey that says women mostly want a "Traditional Relationship" with a man that affords them enough emotional and financial support allowing the opportunity to be "Stay at Home Moms". The other segment was with Dr. Carole Lieberman http://www.expertclick.com/search/outsideurl.cfm?groupID=996 and her new book, "Bad Boys: Why We Love Them, How to Live With Them, and When to Leave". After watching all that in the morning, then I was out and about for the day, continuously seeing "Couples" holding hands, calling each other on cellphones, making plans, over hearing mothers talking about their "babies daddies", etc. So then it dawned on me lastnight, that what is dragging me down the most is this whole "couples" image. I think that in my mind it has been implanted that one is to have a "partner", and since I've never been able to get that right then there is something "odd" about me...something missing...something so totally wrong...something that I am yearning for. And this is probably where most of the resentment is aimed at DH, for messing that up.

I was venting to GF about how "pissed off" I was that DH made such a big deal about his "budding friendship" with his new male friend, and this was where a lot of the problems were coming from in the late stages of our relationship...his "strong desire" to have friends to the point of lying to me about his whereabouts, his not coming home until the late hours...just all the total disrespect that he was washing me in because of this "new friend"...yet when it came down to us separating...this "friend" didn't "take him in"...instead he had to find "shelter" with another woman.

I just find it all very confusing. In a "normal" relationship, both people are expected to have individual and mutual friends; but for me, "friends" were always something to fear, because of the actions that my SO would take thereafter, it was always a ripple in my calm sea. But I guess that is where I have chosen "abnormal" or "bad boys" who are not capable of keeping friendships at a safe distance. I always told DH that he took everything to "EXTREMES"...everything he did was way too far out. Any hobby he got involved in, he would just immerse himself in so totally that it would cause him to neglect everything else that was going on, and this is what he did with "friendships".

I have to really look at my life...not to over analyze...because I do that so often...but, what I see is that in general "relationships" are not a good thing for me. Yes, I yearn for that "Traditional Relationship" to feel safe and secure with a real partner for life, but I really don't believe that is in my future because of the lifestyle that I have become so accustom to. I can't trust, don't want to trust, don't want to have expectations placed on me or hold expectations on anyone else either. I want the day to come when my children are raised and out of the house so that I can come and go as I please, never asking permission or "do you mind" or explaining myself, but with this I also have to get comfortable with the fact that this does not include a "Traditional Partner", and I just got to be okay with that. I have a "Non-Traditional Relationship" with Kevin; we always have a good time, we laugh, we have mutual friends, we have a long history, there is love there (somewhere), we look forward to seeing each other...but he's not able to be there when it's convenient for me...or when I really need him to be. So I struggle with all this because it seems a little selfish on my part. On the one hand, I say that I want my freedom, but then on the other, I want companionship when I want it. I can't just be happy with the middle road. And the image of couples really bothers me!

Inspirational Website

I've determined that I'm not any good at drawing people, and therefore won't attempt to do it much ever again...this was my attempt at a cartoon!

http://www.howtoliveyourlife.com/dothe/rightthing/main_text.html#a This is just some inspirational thoughts...it's actually all common sense, but hey...maybe seeing it all in black and white might help some others out there, I really like "IT'S YOUR TURN: Start Loving Yourself and Your Life"...I printed it out to put in my journal and re-read every now and then. Here are a list of the other categories:

A. It's Your Turn: Start Loving Yourself and Your Life
B. Living in the Present Moment
C. The Power of Positive Thinking
D. Creating More Time and Money (and Getting Organized)
E. Relax, Have Fun and Enjoy Life
F. Relationships
G. Illness and Grief
H. Your Family, Children and Young People
I. Bad Habits
J. You and Society
K. Spirituality
L. Journaling and Your Personal Aspirations Questionnaire

Day from H-E- Double Hockey Sticks

http://www.snapfish.com/photolibrary/t_=46057056 I'm trying out a new Online Photo Service. I finally got the printer I've been wanting for ages, a HP Printer/Scanner/Copier, now my son no longer has to call me from school and have me email his school reports to his teacher to be printed! But I'll tell you, it was a real chore getting this darn printer. I went first to the bank this morning after being chilled to the bone in this drafty old house, then off to Walmart, picked up the printer and a few other essentials (see photo below of the many splendid pairs of socks that I bought!), got home with all this stuff, went down the street for a bit before picking up Kayley from her bus stop, then my son attempted to hook up this STUPID STUPID STUPID printer, which apparently did not come with the USB cable that it needs to operate. So I called the Electronics Manager at Walmart, Justin, and totally reamed him out for allowing his associates to sell the thing without the proper equipment...my point being that it's difficult enough for me to get around...let alone an elderly person or a disabled person! I had to go all the way back out to Walmart, which meant taking a bus ride all the way out to the Mall and back around just to then get back home! ARGH! just really Pee'd me Off! I called HP too, didn't get anywhere with that... but I WILL be sending them a nasty gram via email! But Walmart DID give me the cable for free and I was able to grab the paper that I forgot earlier..so alls well that ends well...and this night is ending too...YEEHAW! The kids are in bed, and I am not even going to look at my atrocious house until tomorrow...it will still be there then to clean!