Changes

I got my DL back after loosing it for one year, I could have had it back in October, but hey...who's driving? Not me! Not with the prices of gas, maintenance, registration, inspection, emissions tests and insurance these days! I need a real good paying job to afford all that, plus keep a roof over my head and raise two kids! Shoot!

Anyhow, I got to looking at all my "forms of ID" over the past oh...I guess 10 years (pic above), and it dawned on me...Holy Crap have I gone through a lot and it really shows! BUT...and this is a really BIG BUT...I wasn't totally disgusted with the latest picture, actually...with everything that I've just recently been through...I must agree with the mass concensus...I look a hell of a lot better than I did just last year when I was with DH! My God...I looked like I was on Crack-Cocaine when I was with him! And, those "highlights" in my hair in the most recent pic...(giggling) they are really grey hairs...shhhhhh...I won't tell if you don't! So, my new DL photo actually made me feel pretty damn good about myself at my young 37 years of age, and it's only gonna get better from here on out, babe!

Now, for the down side of today...I think I upset my GF real bad! Well...and I didn't mean to... she said something that made me think of somethings that someone told me, and I was sure she'd want to know. I DID ask her if she wanted me to tell her first, and she said yes, so I blurted it out! Turns out that her Jailhouse BF is still seeing the "other girl" during the visits that my GF hasn't been able to go to. Not only that, I was told that yet even ANOTHER girl was NOT just a "friend" but MORE than that AND he's been seeing his other baby's mother, which my GF did not think was happening. My GFs mood changed suddenly, she began saying that she didn't know what to think of it all and felt like she needed to consult with another friend of her's (one that she can relate to more than me, because they both have "cheating dogs"), the last time I talked to her today she said, and I quote "My heart just really hurts". I know she's hurting, and all I could really say is that she knows in her heart of heart that all this is true, it's been going on, it's still going on, it's never gonna stop, she needs to just get away from him and heal for good, however long that may take but she needs to be strong and just do it or she's gonna continue to put herself through this over and over again and hurt more each time until the life is just sucked right out of her! Of course, she didn't want to hear any of that, so she didn't talk to me much more than that...I'm sure she called her other friend that could "feel" more for her.

All this just made me think how happy I am that I am no longer in a "relationship" where there are expectations on both sides, because when someone does not live up to expectations, then all there is is disappointment! I KNOW I held expectations on DH, only the same expectations he held on me...be home, don't stay out all night, don't go out without me unless you invite me, keep to your daily routine to avoid any suspicions, don't hang on the phone too long and avoid me, don't have any friends besides me...that's all for the birds, I'm glad to be done with it, but my GF has it 10X worse, her BF is like the "Freedom Nazi" even from behind bars!