Greetings from Another Planet!
Well, I guess that's exactly where I've been...another planet, cuz I sure haven't been here! Life has been very hectic! I started my new job May 1st, so that takes most of my time away from home. Training went well, and I've been on my own and off of audit for some time now. I really love my job, I like to go there each morning, and everyone I work with is very sweet. All types of ladies (just a couple men), so I feel more at ease, as if I'm not alone in the world with the struggles that I face...some of these ladies face the same problems that I do raising their children, being single parents, or just working women! In my previous job, I never felt those co-workers had a CLUE what "normal" people go thru with hardships and trials... their lives revolved around work and jet-setting with their clients and golf tournaments! Those that HAD children, only had OLDER children that were already out of the home on their own with their own families! And they surely never experienced an abusive relationship, so they could not even fathom what I was dealing with physically or emotionally! So, needless to say...I feel more at ease, and not so much like a "freak of nature".
After beginning my new job, I decided we needed to move out of that wretched house with no heat and no hot water...oil bills that were sky high! The house was just WAY too big to maintain, not to mention the yard and sidewalks and all those hedges! So, my children and I moved into a quaint little one floor, three bedroom apartment with no lawn or sidewalks to care for, conveniently located near a small store and three of my good friends. Poopie and I spend a lot of our free time right down the street with her cousins, which keeps all them occupied while my GF and I visit with each other!
Once we were all moved in and settled, after paying nearly $1200 out in first and last months rent and moving expenses, my son decided that he was bored with life and it was all my fault because the DSL wasn't yet working in our new place, and I didn't have the money to rush right out and get him a YMCA membership, so he became very argumentative and aggressive with me, he decided he would attempt to blackmail me into getting what he wanted by threatening to run away to Kansas and no longer watch his sister, leaving me with no child care to go to work...since he couldn't make it all the way to Kansas, and no one else wanted to take him in around here, he came to the point of assaulting me and he was then removed from my home...now I am entitled to pay for his child support while he lives at a facility geared to teach him to be an adult and be on his own in January when he turns 18, but this becomes MY plight...because even though I have a nice home for him to live in...he was able to get his own way and does not have to live in my home and follow my rules and respect me, and I get to foot the bill for his OTHER living arrangements! Hmmmm....just don't know how I'm gonna be able to afford all this! Not to mention, I was then forced to scramble and find other child care arrangements, costing me even MORE money! I was already scraping just to get by, so I don't really see how I'm going to make ends meet now! I hate to say this...but I will be so happy when my boy is no longer my legal or financial obligation...I'll be so happy when he's entirely on his own and sees how hard life REALLY is! I'll be so happy when his actions no longer affect my lifestyle! What really gets me is that the whole winter we suffered thru barely having any heat, boiling hot water and for a time only had a cooler on the back porch for a refrigerater...yet he NEVER complained a bit THEN! Guess he just assumed that moving here was going to afford us all kinds of luxuries that he was "ENTITLED" to! How could I make him understand that I was not obligated to give him such things? My obligations rest in putting a safe warm roof over his head, clothes, food and an education...that's it! Anything else is just perks!
So, I've been dealing with one hurdle after another...as soon as I'd think that I had overcome and survived one hardship....BAM! I'd get hit with another! And here I am once again, facing another big hardship...God...does it ever just stop and level out to a nice peaceful existence? I really don't want much in life...just a nice home to come home to, a nice routine to follow each day, and enough money to pay each bill as it hits the mailbox...nothing more!
Oh well, on a happier note...I've posted two pics above...these are happy pics with lots of smiles...one of my good friend Shell and I, the other of Poopie and her cousins! Atleast we can still smile and laugh in the face of hardship!
After beginning my new job, I decided we needed to move out of that wretched house with no heat and no hot water...oil bills that were sky high! The house was just WAY too big to maintain, not to mention the yard and sidewalks and all those hedges! So, my children and I moved into a quaint little one floor, three bedroom apartment with no lawn or sidewalks to care for, conveniently located near a small store and three of my good friends. Poopie and I spend a lot of our free time right down the street with her cousins, which keeps all them occupied while my GF and I visit with each other!
Once we were all moved in and settled, after paying nearly $1200 out in first and last months rent and moving expenses, my son decided that he was bored with life and it was all my fault because the DSL wasn't yet working in our new place, and I didn't have the money to rush right out and get him a YMCA membership, so he became very argumentative and aggressive with me, he decided he would attempt to blackmail me into getting what he wanted by threatening to run away to Kansas and no longer watch his sister, leaving me with no child care to go to work...since he couldn't make it all the way to Kansas, and no one else wanted to take him in around here, he came to the point of assaulting me and he was then removed from my home...now I am entitled to pay for his child support while he lives at a facility geared to teach him to be an adult and be on his own in January when he turns 18, but this becomes MY plight...because even though I have a nice home for him to live in...he was able to get his own way and does not have to live in my home and follow my rules and respect me, and I get to foot the bill for his OTHER living arrangements! Hmmmm....just don't know how I'm gonna be able to afford all this! Not to mention, I was then forced to scramble and find other child care arrangements, costing me even MORE money! I was already scraping just to get by, so I don't really see how I'm going to make ends meet now! I hate to say this...but I will be so happy when my boy is no longer my legal or financial obligation...I'll be so happy when he's entirely on his own and sees how hard life REALLY is! I'll be so happy when his actions no longer affect my lifestyle! What really gets me is that the whole winter we suffered thru barely having any heat, boiling hot water and for a time only had a cooler on the back porch for a refrigerater...yet he NEVER complained a bit THEN! Guess he just assumed that moving here was going to afford us all kinds of luxuries that he was "ENTITLED" to! How could I make him understand that I was not obligated to give him such things? My obligations rest in putting a safe warm roof over his head, clothes, food and an education...that's it! Anything else is just perks!
So, I've been dealing with one hurdle after another...as soon as I'd think that I had overcome and survived one hardship....BAM! I'd get hit with another! And here I am once again, facing another big hardship...God...does it ever just stop and level out to a nice peaceful existence? I really don't want much in life...just a nice home to come home to, a nice routine to follow each day, and enough money to pay each bill as it hits the mailbox...nothing more!
Oh well, on a happier note...I've posted two pics above...these are happy pics with lots of smiles...one of my good friend Shell and I, the other of Poopie and her cousins! Atleast we can still smile and laugh in the face of hardship!
posted by Thorn @ 10:56 AM
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