Pulling me down!
I had it out with my GF on the phone yesterday, she hung up on
me...apparently she had just had it out with her mother telling her
pretty much what I was, that her BF is and always has been pulling her
down and that she has more issues with her kids than she thinks she
does, since she's always stressing over him and the kids can sense it all. Her mother apparently was getting on her about not wanting to
tell a therapist the whole truth and nothing but the truth and
get some REAL help, so when she was telling me how upset she was with her mother for lecturing at her, I told her that I have to agree with her mother and that this
is just the tip of the iceberg and now that the kids are in school,
more and more people (teachers and such) are going to begin to
notice behavioral problems with her children, and she is not going to be able to
continue to deny the problems at home that affect the kids, she
began getting very defensive saying there is nothing wrong and that
she is tired of all the negativity and that "her and her kids are
not going to end up...", then she stopped right there...so I
said "Go ahead, say it...you think you and your kids aren't going to
end up like me and mine? Just because you have mommy paying your
bills and you have mommy paying for your vehicle...take all that
away...and you are no different than me! You think because you
can "go" places each day with your kids that that makes for happy
and healthy children? You are in denial!" So she hung up on me!
So I'm left thinking that maybe I would be better off without all HER
negativity in MY life! Maybe I've been holding MYSELF back from getting
to know any other types of "happy" people due to my friendship with
her and being able to "comfortably" relate so well with her, rather than expanding
my own horizons and doing away with all the negative junk myself. For the most part, we have phone conversations every day, in which she is SCREAMING at her kids to leave her alone, I can never finish a sentence without her yelling at the kids in the background, and she's constantly telling me that they (the kids) frustrate her so much and are so out of control that she feels like she's losing her mind! That she dreads taking all of them somewhere at the same time because she cannot handle them all at once. So OKAY??? She has no problems with her kids? And they are "happy and healthy"? Hmmmm? I think not!!!! She's going to be in for a real rude awakening if she keeps shoving things inside and not acting on the problems. So I'm thinking that with all THAT negativity in MY life each day...it really isn't doing me any good either!
me...apparently she had just had it out with her mother telling her
pretty much what I was, that her BF is and always has been pulling her
down and that she has more issues with her kids than she thinks she
does, since she's always stressing over him and the kids can sense it all. Her mother apparently was getting on her about not wanting to
tell a therapist the whole truth and nothing but the truth and
get some REAL help, so when she was telling me how upset she was with her mother for lecturing at her, I told her that I have to agree with her mother and that this
is just the tip of the iceberg and now that the kids are in school,
more and more people (teachers and such) are going to begin to
notice behavioral problems with her children, and she is not going to be able to
continue to deny the problems at home that affect the kids, she
began getting very defensive saying there is nothing wrong and that
she is tired of all the negativity and that "her and her kids are
not going to end up...", then she stopped right there...so I
said "Go ahead, say it...you think you and your kids aren't going to
end up like me and mine? Just because you have mommy paying your
bills and you have mommy paying for your vehicle...take all that
away...and you are no different than me! You think because you
can "go" places each day with your kids that that makes for happy
and healthy children? You are in denial!" So she hung up on me!
So I'm left thinking that maybe I would be better off without all HER
negativity in MY life! Maybe I've been holding MYSELF back from getting
to know any other types of "happy" people due to my friendship with
her and being able to "comfortably" relate so well with her, rather than expanding
my own horizons and doing away with all the negative junk myself. For the most part, we have phone conversations every day, in which she is SCREAMING at her kids to leave her alone, I can never finish a sentence without her yelling at the kids in the background, and she's constantly telling me that they (the kids) frustrate her so much and are so out of control that she feels like she's losing her mind! That she dreads taking all of them somewhere at the same time because she cannot handle them all at once. So OKAY??? She has no problems with her kids? And they are "happy and healthy"? Hmmmm? I think not!!!! She's going to be in for a real rude awakening if she keeps shoving things inside and not acting on the problems. So I'm thinking that with all THAT negativity in MY life each day...it really isn't doing me any good either!
posted by Thorn @ 9:07 AM
1 Comments:
At 7:29 AM,
Thorn said…
Sent anonomously:
Hey Thorn
I read your blog on pulling you down. I think you're right on. Instead of living your own drama like you were before, you are now involved in your friends' drama. I had to alter my whole life when I became a single mom. I refuse to have any negative people around me what so ever. You will have all that extra energy you used helping her sort out her issues, and even thinking about her and her problems, to spend with your own kids, or do something creative for yourself! I had friends that would keep me on the phone for hours with all their problems and never even ask what was going on in my life. I was such a co dependant. I have had to scale things down just to create or do my blog. I had accumulated many friends over the years, and I have retained many of them and dropped a few a long the way. The energy drainers, just waned off. Others I see on occasion and the circle is way smaller now, made up of artists, and a writers, and people that are at peace with themselves. Maybe that sounds selfish, but hey it's my life. Maya Angelou says that if anyone talks negative in her house or to any of her guests she escorts them out. She believes the negative energy gets into the walls. I think that happens too. Just think you actually spent time writing about it on your blog. Imagine if that didn't happen. Hey I think you're going in the right direction. Sounds like you have some boundaries going on, and that's a good thing.
Good luck to you!!
Peace and giggles
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