Yahoo Group Dropout

I had to unsubscribe from that Yahoo Group I talked about in yesterday's post, I don't think it was a positive thing for me. I don't think some of the members on that group READ the lengthier posts, they TAKE WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR only. They preach Step 8, 9 and 10 yet cannot even bring themselves to apologize properly without backing their "so-called" apology up with more advice when they didn't even READ the whole post obviously. And then one other goes and "picks sides" like a juvenile with her "I'm with you" post, that is very immature, so it had me wondering...am I talking to the wrong bunch, should I in my early recovery be taking opinions like that and rolling with them? I don't know them, and they may very well be in a "dry drunk" themselves spewing advice that they are not actually LIVING. Another one posted that my lengthy "novel" was all about "I" and not "WE" yet just a couple posts later she was telling her story to a newbie and it was all "I". That was very contradictory! How would I possibly write about "WE"? I could not write about others when I am not in their shoes...MY recovery is about "I" and no one else, I can't speak for anyone else...only myself.

One said of my leaving the group, that God may want me in this online group, that my words may be of service to someone else who is suffering, yet I got nothing but negative feedback from my post of HAPPINESS...so if my post was seen as "negative" how could that possibly help anyone else? And from looking at their posts after my departure, I see that my "leaving so soon" is a real "funny" to quite a few while they are LOL, again, how immature is that? Oh yeah, "come back anytime, WE will keep your seat warm!" Give me a break..talk the talk, can't walk the walk.

I don't think it helped my recovery process at all, only harmed it! I wasn't angry at all...I was totally dumbfounded, and I'm not going to sit there when someone was TOTALLY in the wrong with mistaken identity and not say anything. That's not being defensive, I was definately "wronged" and for all her years of sobriety, she could not make proper amends...how SICK is that? I continually asked her to tell me what I should be doing that I was NOT doing, and she could NOT tell me anything that I was NOT already doing, just kept saying "you know what you should be doing", believing I was someone else with years of sobriety. I may be an alcoholic, but that doesn't mean I'm going to bend over and take it up the whazoo and NEVER defend myself. Being defensive isn't ALWAYS a bad trait, and I'm never going to let anyone tell me it is, in this world nowadays you have to stand up for yourself, because no one else will. In my drunken days, I didn't defend myself, I didn't take a stand on matters that I believed in and therefore I got severely treaded on, in a sober state I can be stronger with guidance from HP. I don't care for people that just talk the talk and don't walk the walk! I had some people telling me that I was going too fast and that I should slow down and to work with a sponsor on the steps and then turn around and tell me that I should jump ahead to Step 4 and look at myself, yet they turn around and tell me this program isn't about SELF! I mean come on, you read each step...it's all about SELF and HP...self denial, self honesty, self inventory, self spirituality, self meditation, self control, self sanity, self wrongs, self defects, the program teaches that we have nothing whatsoever to do with anyone elses actions only OUR reactions!..the only thing about this program that is about others is making amends to those we have harmed and servitude to other alcoholics, and even THOSE actions are for our OWN self well-being!