I feel so bad!

I haven't been keeping up with my BLOG, I guess because I've actually been talking more to hubby than normal, and putting my feelings out in other ways, but I really wanted to keep this blog going. So I am going to make a large effort to post everynight. Hubby had made me a promise which he has gone back on 3 times this week. I have been in bed sleeping, thinking he was keeping his word, only to wake up and find him not here at 11:30 at night. When I questioned about it tonite, about not keeping his word, he said that he needed to be out later to make money for the house we are going to be renting. Then when he finally gets home I look in his eyes and find out that he has been drinking, not out making money, but spending what he did have on bars, friends and shooting pool, using the EXCUSE that he needed to be out past 11pm. He says he can have better women without two kids that drinks his soda, and kids that do chores and that this is all my fault because I am stressing him for money. But then turns and breaks his promise, that he gave to begin with.